life's a bunch of grapes

life is a bunch of grapes (: heh, just a random statement that popped to my head, i have no idea why life's like a bunch of grapes.


DANCE; the heart controls.
aye, the dancer looks like she has no arms ._.


OH, this is hilarious! they were going around giving chocolate coins! but it was quite cool to see em up close :D and you see! the princesses are really wearing that funny shoe! [x







life's troubles may hit us fast and furious (heh, mr tan's quote), but never wallow in sorrow. pause, quieten and think. then stand right up on our feet! (yes evelyn, i tou pai-ed you (looking pretty emo) :D)


SMILE;


SMILE;


SMILE!

life's a bunch of grapes. (:

i am why He has to die.

yours truly just cried again ):



We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said "Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry
you said he was stronger than all of those guys
Daddy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want him to die?"

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide

So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said, "Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can't You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?"

"My precious Son, I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die"

(:

've been tearing quite a bit these 2 days ._.

was sorting out files and documents in the harddisk ytd night and chanced upon the farewell letter to 212. and the tears just started flowing out. rah! aye. no im not emo. but as in, the tears werent cos of sadness or anth; it just brought back alot of memories; so close, yet so far.

life has to go on! :D

and today's assembly really set me thinking what i'll like to do with my life in the future. the issue of stepping out of comfort zones really hit me hard. would i want to live an ordinary, simple, comfortable life, or perhaps, step out and do my best to help. pictures really do speak a thousand words. my heart ached when i saw the poor people, was trying very hard to hold back tears during the video, but it just flowed out.

im sitting here, with a roof over my head. the living room and balcony lights are on. i just had rice, fish, veg and soup for dinner. i just need to stand up and go to the kitchen if im thirsty. my piggy bank's filling up with notes and coins.

the people there have never seen a 10-renminbi note in their lives. 10renminbi is, perhaps less than the amount of money that i spend in a day. there's so much more to their story; their lives are hard, yet simple. yet why is it more difficult for us to smile and be thankful for each passing day?

again, im thankful.

on a lighter note, cca's gonna start this friday, with 37 new juniors (: it's a good start, hopefully ;D

okay, shall continue with work!

with Christ in the vessel, i can smile at the storm.

life's good.

poem- im thankful

to me,

you,

and

every other

tired,

frustrated,

weary

soul

out there,

somewhere...

im thankful,
for being alive;
that i can pause,
look up,
and admire the big, blue sky.

im thankful,
for school;
for every new challenge that lies ahead,
i think of dying children
asleep on hospital beds.

im thankful,
for friends;
friends beside me,
friends who understand.
cos we're on this journey together,
we'll find our rainbows
as we slowly reach the end.

im thankful,
for troubles,
for stress,
worry, and
fear;
the process is painful,
but in it im learning,
growing.
standing up again,
when overwhelmed with pain.

if i fall down,
i'll rise against my fatigue.
if i fail,
i'll never stop trying
till i succeed.
if i cry,
i'll pour my heart out.
then dry my tears,
and do myself proud.

im thankful;
i will treasure every little blessing
that comes my way.
im thankful;
i will not ponder long on thoughts
that will dampen my day.
im thankful;
i will be reminded of the less fortunate,
and for them i'll pray.

im thankful.
and nothing is going to erase my smile,
as i face my challenges,
carry my troubles...
pause,
and give thanks for while.

im thankful.

genting pics.

pics from genting! :D aye, very overdue; but nonetheless [;


HOT CHOCOLATE :D (unfortunately, without the hot chocolate)


the pretty lights in the hotel lobby!


RAINBOW <3


helicornia [: (i've a fascination for helicornias :D)


oh the super cool bamboo decorations in the restaurant! see the shadows on the ceiling :D it was the same restaurant where we had our breakfast the first morning and fell asleep for two hours ._. (in case you're wondering, no our faces didnt land on the plates; we just got ALOT of wierd stares from ALOT of people going around getting their food.)


the shadows :D


the view was O: O: O:


O: O: O: , really.


mummy <3

time flies, really.

aye, so far '08 has been well, just okay.

wait.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

sorry for the slowness. the blogging bug came and left me.

so far only the resolution of massively cutting down time on the comp and the teevee has been the most effective. farewell, teevee shows! :D (>< ! they kissed again & coffee prince) it's okay. :D thou shalt not live by teevee and the computer alone.

threee tenn. hmmm, bonds take time to form, so i really wont make any judgemental statements, since it's only january (: stuff have been okay, and hopefully, i'll love you all as much as 212 (: but i really appreciate the teachers' efforts to help our class accept and learn about one another's culture and plus points, like mr lim speaking chineeese and attempting to say cheng yu stuff. i think there's alot of space for us to learn from one another, and not create a segregation. (: hee, and all hail yanquan our monitress! aye, dont stress out luh. you can one!

HAHAHAH and evelyn my dearest is monitress of 302 too! [; you'll liao jie my tong ku manxzzx! aye, then again. you're capable okay! :D

tralala.

"children, honour thy father and thy mother."

HELLO 2008! :D
i can feel the stuff slowing piling in... but we'll all be strong!

i can.
you can too.
we all can.

disappear.

i need a hug )':

Paradox of our Age

Paradox of our Age
by Dr. Bob Moorehead in Words Aptly Spoken

We have taller buildings but shorter tempers;
wider freeways but narrower viewpoints;
we spend more but have less;
we buy more but enjoy it less;
we have bigger houses and smaller families;
more conveniences, yet less time;
we have more degrees but less sense;
more knowledge but less judgement;
more experts, yet more problems;
we have more gadgets but less satisfaction;
more medicine, yet less wellness;
we take more vitamins but see fewer results.

We drink too much; smoke too much;
spend too recklessly; laugh too little;
drive too fast; get too angry quickly;
stay up too late; get up too tired;
read too seldom; watch TV too much and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values;
we fly in faster planes to arrive there quicker, to do less and return sooner;
we sign more contracts only to realize fewer profits;
we talk too much; love too seldom and lie too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life;
we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. (this is funny!)

We've conquered outer space, but not inner space;
we've done larger things, but not better things;
we've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul;
we've split the atom, but not our prejudice;
we write more, but learn less;
plan more, but accomplish less;
we make faster planes, but longer lines;
we learned to rush, but not to wait;
we have more weapons, but less peace;
higher incomes, but lower morals;
more parties, but less fun;
more food, but less appeasement;
more acquaintances, but fewer friends;
more effort, but less success.

We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication;
drive smaller cars that have bigger problems;
build larger factories that produce less.

We've become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion;
tall men, but short character;
steep in profits, but shallow relationships.

These are times of world peace, but domestic warfare;
more leisure and less fun;
higher postage, but slower mail;
more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorces;
these are times of fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, cartridge living, thow-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies and pills that do everything from cheer, to prevent, quiet or kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stock room.

Indeed, these are the times!

i will be productive :D

GOOD MORNING WORLD! :D

I MUST BE PRODUCTIVE TODAY. I MUST BE PRODUCTIVE TODAY. I MUST BE PRODUCTIVE TODAY. I MUST BE PRODUCTIVE TODAY. I MUST BE PRODUCTIVE TODAY.

I WILL BE PRODUCTIVE TODAY. I WILL BE PRODUCTIVE TODAY. I WILL BE PRODUCTIVE TODAY. I WILL BE PRODUCTIVE TODAY. I WILL BE PRODUCTIVE TODAY.

stuff to complete!
` compo- "money can buy happiness." do you agree?
` du shu bao gao- edit
` find cheng yu file on ivle/get from people!
` maths simultaneous thing thing
` print sec 1 orientation proposal, save in thumbdrive, prepare briefing

other stuff
` buy stationery
` get money for uniform

christmas!

orange craze worn off, so here's a new blogskin! (:
i love little children!
if only we could go back in time to relieve our childhood.
it's wonderful being a little kid;
you dont know many stuff,
"ignorance is bliss."
i guess it's really true (:

i remember when i was young i'll always ask my mom "why..."
"mummy, why am i not in your wedding photo?"
mummy, "you were not born yet, my dear!"
me: -bawls-
"can you and daddy get married again so we can take photos together?"

:D

and i realised little kids make friends very easily. "forgive and forget" seems to come to them quite naturally too.
whoever shares his/her toys with you are friends.
im angry. you give me a hug and say "sorry", and we're friends again. (:
i still find it very very amazing how babies can be wailing one second and silent another when they're distracted (:

im surely gonna have more than one kid next time! it's sad being the only child ;'(
hmmm, is 6 kids alot? :D

ahwell. heh i suddenly thought of daniel clinging on to lincoln at the home. daniel is so sweet (:

today's christmas!
blessed christmas, everyone!
for those with Christ in our hearts, let's remember the true meaning of this season and thank God for such a wonderful gift. let's also offer our hearts to Him and push aside the many distractions.

Jesus must have been adorable as a baby too (:
it's amazing to think about how His childhood was like.
at YF camp sarah mentioned about Jesus being 100% God and 100% man.
so if He was God within a little boy, He should have been quite wise and matured, yet playful!
hmmm, shall ask Jesus next time (:

shall post baby pictures when there's time! hee.

i like this song alot! but i cant seem to find it anywhere ):
lyrics are meaningful though :D

Christmas isn’t Christmas till it happens in your heart
Somewhere, deep inside you, is where Christmas really starts
So, give your heart to Jesus, you’ll discover when you do
That’s it Christmas, really Christmas for you.

Jesus brings warmth like a winter fire, a light like a candle’s glow
He’s waiting now to come inside, like He did so long ago
Jesus brings gifts of truth and life and makes them bloom and grow
So welcome Him with a song of joy, and when He comes you’ll know….

That Christmas isn’t Christmas till it happens in your heart
Somewhere, deep inside you, is where Christmas really starts
So, give your heart to Jesus, you’ll discover when you do
That’s it Christmas, really Christmas
Christmas, really Christmas

Christmas, really Christmas for you...

happy birthday, Jesus!
im so glad it's Christmas.

here's a song to end the post (:
"mary, did you know" by clay aiken



& Lord, i pray that those who havent opened the doors of their hearts to You will come to know the true meaning of Christmas.
forgive me, Father; help me, and use me.
amen.

once again, blessed christmas to all (:
i cant wait to hear the angels sing in heaven next time!
their voices must be so much more beautiful that no human can ever imagine.
thank You God, for letting me know You.
thank You for Jesus.
here's my heart, i surrender it to You and You alone.

paintings by the sidewalk [:

tag replies! :D

gladys- HAHAH! my loyal fan [: lol the blog's really really dead la. dont be too hopeful. hooray now we're all back! (: go out soooooooon yep. and your post! your card! your letter! xD

christine- HEY FELLOW LEE :D hahha yah you found the blog. [; i-camppp :D you take care okay! index number 22! (see? i remember!)

aposttokeepthisdeadblogalive.

HAHAHH ROAR. :D

this blog is dead, my friendster is dead and oh the wells.

basically i've lost interest in the computer ._. it's just a time-gobbling monster. O:

farewell, my friends [:

hahahah no im not going to zi sha -.-

it's just that time spent on the comp should be spent on more meaningful stuff (:

random note: maths is fun!

random note[2]: my hols are pacckkkkkkkkkkkked. jiayou myself! ^^

byebye :D

212remainsinmyheartforeverandever. <3

-fill in a suitable title-

uh okay i just deleted a whole chunk of stuff ._.

to cut the long story short.

SHI JIE SHI MEI HAO DE.

hahaha wanted to type a long, angsty post ytd. but it's all chilled.

chill reminds me of ice-skating today :D MY FINGERRRRRRR. (yours truly is typing with liang zhi shou zhi)

hahah and liang zhi shou zhi reminds me of liang zhi lao hu.

and liang zhi lao hu reminds me of koahuimin and daddy's san zhi lao shu ._.

OHTHEWELLS. leexiaoen has really really learnt her lesson this time.

and God's ways are simply, amazing. thank you Father, for teaching me and revealing this love so deep. i pray it wont be momentary.

aye. shall not post already :D

it's not the end; say hello to the beginning!

time flies;

it really does.

loser a am i.

haha this is just in case any earthling gets too shocked in school tmrw when they see me.

sorry for the interruption, this is an important announcement:

"My hair is SCREWED."

-pats self on back- haha i think only sandy has a description of my retarded hair.

goose, i might consider forcing my hair into a ponypig tail with a million hairpins.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

okay byebye :D

and my left eye has been itchy for the past 48 hours. sheesh, self-restrain to not rubbbb. ):

HERO

Was looking for songs to motivate, this song is really super nice. goosepimples!

Hero- Mariah Carey



There's a hero if you look inside your heart.
You don't have to be afraid of what you are.
There's an answer if you reach into your soul
and the sorrow that you know will melt away.

And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.

It's a long road when you face the world alone.
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold.
You can find love if you search within yourself
and the emptiness you felt will disappear.

And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.

Lord knows dreams are hard to follow,
But don't let anyone tear them away.
Hold on, there will be tommorow.
In time you'll find the way.

And then a hero comes along
with the strength to carry on
and you cast your fears aside
and you know you can survive.
So, when you feel like hope is gone
look inside you and be strong
and you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you.

That a hero lies in you.



JIAYOU, fellow heros! <3

motivation (:

To everyone out there who needs a dosage of motivation:

here's a great big hug from me to you;
remember that after the rain, the skies are blue.
rainbows appear after storms,
and after long, lonely, dark nights;
the sun comes out at dawn.

sometimes life feels like one large cycle.
we fall down, and things start to topple;
tell ourselves we need to change,
in the end things somehow end up the same.
it's like sinking sand.
we're drifting away, the troubles dont end.
but somehow, we need to find the ground!
besides, hearts and hands are all around.

just keep trying; im serious, dont give up.
keep on fighting!
time will only slip away,
even as you sigh and contemplate your way.
"it's better late then never";
hear the clock's ticking, learn to treasure.

P . U . S . H .


&i thank you Lord,
for the trials that come my way,
in that way I can grow each day
as I let You lead,

&i thank You Lord,
for the patience those trials bring.
in that process of growing,
I can learn to care.

But it goes against the way I am
to put my human nature down
and let the Spirit take control of all I do.

'Cause when those trials come,
my human nature shouts the thing to do;
and God's soft prompting can be easily ignored.

I thank You Lord,
with each trial I feel inside,
that You're there to help, lead and guide
me away from wrong.

'Cause You promised, Lord,
that with every testing,
that Your way of escaping is easier to bear

But it goes against the way I am
to put my human nature down
and let the Spirit take control of all I do.

'Cause when those trials come,
my human nature shouts the thing to do;
and God's soft prompting can be easily ignored.

I thank You Lord,
for the victory that growing brings.
In surrender of everything
life is so worth while.

&i thank You Lord,
that when everything's put in place,
out in front I can see Your face,
and it's there You belong.

;life is good, afterall.

i thank God for always making me feel uplifted (: i know i can depend on You, Father. and it's just so reassuring, i pray for hearts to change, especially Gran's. Lord, do not forsake Your children. use me, i pray. and i pray for myself, mummy, and so many others who just feel that there're a million and one things to do/study. so many duties to fufill, so many other things which are seeking our attention. things which distract us. Lord, i know that Satan is trying to get bad feelings and words out of me to distract me from You. help me to remember You in all i do, to pray for strength everyday. because God, Man is nothing without You. and i pray for them who need help, i pray Lord You'll give them direction, and show a way.

You love all of us.

He loves me and you.

not alone!

As Bread That Is Broken

Many hearts are hungry tonight
Many trapped in darkness
Yearn for the light
So many who are far from home
And many who are lost
O Lord Your wounded children need
The power of Your cross

Chrous:
As bread that is broken
Use our lives
As wine that is poured out
A willing sacrifice
Empower us Father
To share the love of Christ
As bread that is broken Lord
Use our lives

Help us to begin where we are
Help us love the people
Near to our hearts
Then give our faith a mission field
Wherever You may call
Lord love Your world
Through each of us
Until we've touched them all

(Chorus 2x)

As wine that is poured out
As bread that is broken Lord
Use our lives

This was another song which made me tear the first time I heard it, it's a painful reminder of so many around us who are still lost. Pastor Eddy's message today about feeling worthless and restless struck a thought that sometimes actually I feel that way too. Yet the Lord cares even for the sparrows, surely He has a greater plan and purpose for me. For you. For each and everyone of us.

I broke my toothbrush holder in the morning, it was given to me by my primary school friend. In primary One, she was the one who encouraged me to go the Sunday school with her. It was at Sunday school where I learnt about Christ and His love for me. Yet slowly, she slipped away from the path. I wonder how she is now. I see her parents at church, but I never get to see her and her sister around anymore.

Lord, I pray for her. Draw her back into your loving arms, enter her life again. Show her that there is so much more on earth than materials. Materials which will tarnish and fade away.

heh did you notice that im typing with caps at the beginning of sentences! (the irony: this sentence isnt ._.)

And I will remember the pain that You endured at the cross; help me to persevere, help me as i grit my teeth, help me overcome all this. Teach me to love, teach me to serve, teach me to see what lies beyond, teach me to live like You, teach me to live like the ant (thanks for the email amanda, it was a wonderful insight).

The Ant and the feather

"Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!"

"One morning," writes Ron Clarke, "I wasted nearly an hour watching a tiny ant carry a huge feather across my back terrace. Several times it was confronted by obstacles in its path and after a momentary pause it would make the necessary detour.

"At one point the ant had to negotiate a crack in the concrete about 10mm wide. After brief contemplation the ant laid the feather over the crack, walked across it and picked up the feather on the other side then continued on its way.

"I was fascinated by the ingenuity of this ant—one of God's smallest creatures. Here was a minute insect, lacking in size yet equipped with a brain to reason, explore, discover and overcome."

Can you imagine God telling us to learn from an ant? So what can we learn? Ants are determined, they are not afraid to work to achieve their goals, they work as a team, they think through and work to overcome the challenges thrown in their pathway, and they never give up. But most of all they teach us about the marvels of God's creation.

wake up, and reach for the stars!

amidst all this, i will find my way.

F O C U S, X I A O E N . it's time to set priorities right.

NO PAIN NO GAIN.

the title speaks for itself.

忍。

雨天

哈哈。现在很累，但还要做功课。现代的学生是蛮可怜的，同意吗！不知道为什么突然间想用华语。哎，华语其实真的烂到不行。不如以后就常常用华语来博客！:D 好好，那么可以加强语言能力。但是如果真得如此，那么读者们应该也会有困难读。哈哈！

辛苦用了大脑那么久，只打了那几行字。._.

没关系，“四个字；坚持到底。。。”外头的天气正下着雨，我喜欢雨天，又不喜欢与天。有时候可以望着空气，听着那细细的雨声，呆呆地愣在那儿很久很久。也许实在想些什么；想起以前、想起现在、想起未来。。。 想着人生着漫长的道路。（但过一会儿也会慢慢的睡觉，头脑太没用了。）

其实真得十分怀念以往的日子。岁月真的不留人。（是那样写吗？）都说了华语烂。哎，不管。加油，自己！华文以后要像爸爸那样好！是蛮难得。呵呵。　

想起自己是不可能再回到过去，而会不停的成长。管你要不要，这就是事实。要扭转时间是不可能的，很多时候会想起许多愚蠢的东西，或那些至今还耿耿于怀、后悔的事情。改变不了了。

闷。一串心思突然被割断。

有时候找那勇气去面对一些银灰（哈哈新词语！不太清楚是什么意思。）的回忆，是困难的。哎呀，总而言之就是去面对过去的错误，现在勇敢认错，才能在未来更安心得踏上这道路。

我在说什么？！

算了。

一场雨也会让我想起其他人；一些平时不会想到的人。不知道现在那些灾民正在做什么？他们是否还在无助地挣扎着？那些被绑架的人质是否安全？这一滴滴雨水并不算什么，但想起身在非洲的人民是多么可怜；是否该如何帮助他们？一个小小的心灵、一个小小的愿望。。。

世界那么大。

晓恩突然间觉得自己是多么的幸福，等一下的晚餐都不需要担心。现在还打着电脑。

这场雨能让我联想起很多很多的其他东西，但回到残酷的现实中。我必须去做功课。

好扫兴哦。

我是华人！我会说华语！（想起饶老师。。。您还好吗？好想念那慈祥、却又严肃的母。）哈哈！华文打字还满好玩的。

好喜欢雨天的感觉。。。　^^

unsung heros; & the little things we do :D

was feeling sick yst. wait was it yesterday? oh yeah it was. oh wait it wasnt. it was yst morning. i was perfectly fit and strong later on! :D

poof, anyways (: didnt take pe lesson and was helping the uncles move the chairs and tables. was really quite fun! they're really what we call unsung heros. perhaps we dont feel much when we see uncle jack going around the classroom locking them up, sometimes even grumbling cos we left our stuff in there. but these people are really around for a reason. there is no logical explanation why we should ever look down on them or treat them differently. including all the cleaners and helpers in the school.

in this great big world, EQ is just as, if not even more important than IQ. period.

all our classroom tables and chairs! think. number of classes. think. number of students in classes. think. number of chairs. think. number of tables. it's 3000 plus, almost 4000. and who will move them? two uncles. sometimes we live within our comfort zone and become oblivious to things around us. once in awhile, why not slow down, appreciate things and people. and lend a hand, or perhaps a listening ear or a shoulder.

haha i dont know if what im saying now makes sense, so just pardon me.

unsung heros. just because we dont see them, just because we dont know them, just because we dont think of them; doesnt mean they're non-existent. and we exist, because they do. not literally, but really. think of how things would be like without them. perhaps only when we truly stop feeling high and haughty and experience it ourselves will we then understand.

life isnt all about I, Me, Myself.

the little things we do really make a whole lot of difference. both positive (:D) and negative (D:).

perhaps it's just a smile, a cheer, a hug. a word of "thank you", "sorry" (which seems, very very hard to mouth)

perhaps it's just picking up a piece of paper on the floor, throwing it into the recycling bin. (notice it isnt the dustbin ;D)

perhaps it is just going one more step in helping a person.

perhaps it is just one chocolate.

at times when we feel lonely, helpless, desperate, mad. there is just this tiny thing in us that wishes for someone out there somewhere who'll hold our hand.

the world suddenly seems brighter. think the green tea advert with the scary monster who suddenly sees happy and adorable things on the planet xD

at the same time. sometimes one small action could kill. ]:

not literally. but sometimes little things do hurt. maybe what you do/say/think of another person could have trampled her feelings and the wounds are so deep it's hard to mend.

no, dont worry. im perfectly fine. :)

roar. cant seem to articulate thoughts very well.

someone just reminded me of her. but anyways, "jin li jiu hao. wo cai bu guan ta ne." lol no it's not you. ay, zi ai ni zhi dao. poof, but like eh, no link ._.

a teeny-weeny-itsy-bitsy thing might just become a giant in the making. switch perspective, step in another shoe.

fill our world with love, for we're all fellow earthlings afterall. maybe with even more in common.

one day i will find my greater purpose in life :D

ya chi.

WORLD, PLEASE APPLAUD FOR XIAOEN :D

eh im really brave luh [; ROAR. bye-bye my two toothies ._. two more to go >< poof! and rahaha. perhaps i was really expecting something alot worse. HEH but the dentist is nice x)

apparently im a noisy, but musical and entertaining patient T.T i was pinching myself and making funny noises. like zhen de. "it's good that there arent any patients outside now or i would lose all my business. they'll be wondering what im doing to you with all those noise." -my dentist. poof! they were seriously amused ._.

am i that funny! T.T

ROAR.

shiver me timbers. hai shi pa pa. 4more days.

the stoopid numbing injection is er. eww-ish. heh extraction was terrifying but cool. and aft that was super unglam. like your mouth is all numb and blah. then cannot control and the kou shui just start flowing D: i needed help to close my mouth. ._.

sheesh. another round of unglam-ness next week.

but it's okay! xiao en hui jian qiang de! 8)

shall not post the whatever dangity dang pictures daddy was happily snapping away while his daughter was in the dentist chair.
-dentist extracts teeth-
-daddy takes picture-
-xiaoen's mouth is bloody-
-dentist tells daddy, "you want to take now before i clean it? it's quite a bloody shot"-
-xiaoen is dying but nobody seems to bother-

POOF! men, are insensitive creatures.

equation of the day, "ring-fitting pain does not equal labour pain"

oh forget it. im quite amused with myself too. T.T

im seriously losing my sense of articulation. ploop. (heh michelle!)

i shall go sleep now. want to tu4 cos i was being uber high just now singing and talking and jumping around and doing funny things to mummy ._. and perhaps the loss of blood has made me even more kuku oO

butbut, thankyou Lord. the pain you endured was far greater (: [a thought that kept me going.]

i shall be strong!

ps. im uber proud to be a 212ver. i think the tchr's day auds ROCKED ?! ;D

pps. crap i forgot what i was gna say.

ppps. i rem now. er. ...

pppps. oh ya. JIAYOU EVERYBODY FOR OCC TMRW (: xiaoen, dont die while turfing and fire-lighting. shen hu xi :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD

yay wan an (:

brain detoriation. ><

ROAR.

hahah my brain isnt exactly functioning well right now. i wanted to print maths notes (nygh homepage is screwed, btw).

*clicks 'print'*

-waits-

-...-

*realises the switch wasnt turned on*

*turns on the switch*

-long pause-

-no sign of printer coming alive-

*realises usb cable was not connected*

*connects usb cable, in hope*

-waits, again-

-uh uh-

*suddenly notices that the printer itself isnt on*

*attempts to slap self, but too tired to*

*ons the printer*

-and the printer finally works-

perhaps i should just use any of the many walls in the house now.

bangbang!


;thankyouLord. :)

;the little things we do!

;JIAYOU, ke yi de :D

and i shall sleep now to prevent further detoriation of this puny brain of yours truly. better not dream >< poof!

random.

ROAR i was being bored wtih my cashew nuts ._.
SMILEEEEEEEE HAHAHA ROAR.



perfect squad!




with the commander (:


clay models! hoho! so ke ai :D (like me) (;





XIAOEN MUST DECLARE HER UNDYING LOVE FOR EVELYN TAN HER DEAR TABLEMATEY :D

of dreams and fantasies

xiaoen is a person who dreams and fantasizes alot.

hahah yeah. which perhaps is precisely the reason for my strange sleeping disorder. HAH! dreams are um, say, quite irritating. yes, irritating's the word. yadayada. i was writing a letter to someone, mentioning bout my dreams and suddenly realised im quite a stoopid person ._. gahh and slow enough to realise that.

ohman what the piang am i saying =.=

hahaha ROAR. my dreams are mostly about what happens daily. so it's like i just wake up and continue about my usual life when i fall asleep. (thus waking up uber tired, and perhaps like what chinwen says, panda-fied.) panda-fied ._. can someone please applause! HEH (: oh that was the first smiley in this post :D and here's the second one! ^^ and the third.

see, im seriously quite abnormal ._.

yoho. basically i dont really remember about my dreams cos i'll be startled awake by goodness-knows-how-many "WAKE UP!!!" but hahah nightmares seem to leave more impressions on me. i've woke up crying for the strangest reasons. perhaps a dream, nightmare rather, on scary stuff. hahah nope, not scary as in monster-scary scary. but just stuff that could very well possibly happen in life. like i've dreamt of mummy's passing. (NO, IM NOT THINKING ABOUT DEATH AND BLAH.) ._. ahahah i guess the dream that i'll always somehow manage to remember is when everyone and everything that i come in contact to 'evaporates' and teleports to heaven. leaving me all alone on this gray, sad planet. really really! that was super scary, yet kindof stupid, yet scary ._. you get what i mean. i sit on a chair, the next instant it disappears to heaven. even the laptop im typing on now will just vanish up there. poof!

or i've dreamt of falling down and it really feels super real, i'll be rolling rolling, and somehow i did or did not really roll on my bed. but the next moment, i would have jerked awake in fright ._. haha like falling down stairs or smth. i feel stoopid saying all these stuff. HEH (:

few days ago i had this wonderful dream! :D i was in the bus to bradell road and suddenly all around me i saw thick, white snow! it was really pretty. ehheh, i still can picture it <3 yah, it's kindof dumb and impossible, but heh. [who knows, it might come true with all this global warming crap.] snow snow snow! suddenly reminded of Jia You Jin Shun. "love is like snow, it's so beautiful you think it could last forever. yet later on everything turns out to be a facade, what's left are muddy footprints and a mess of water puddles." ohwells.

note: poof, our earth is seriously dying. are there any average human beings (aka You and Me) who are seriously reconsidering their every little action day by day, taking small steps in saving the environment?

note: im sick of watching all these news reports on natural disasters everyday. >< ROAR. earthlings, we um, seriously need to do our own parts. NOW.

note: stop eating sharks' fins! 8000 sharks are killed every hour. i think i've mentioned this before ._. but but really really, when the eating stops, the buying stops, the killing stops. stop coming with crap excuses like, "Oh, this shark is already dead what. i cant let it die for no reason. let me eat this bowl." rubbish. i see you over there. feel your conscience, earthling. it's not good to haul you up, chop off your arms and throw you back, when your species is already disappearing. in the future our children will only know about sharks in glass tanks and pictures. and and, perhaps all the fossils the people dig up a few million years later (if end of the world hasnt arrived) would be fossils of finless sharks. kidding, NOT.

note: i think i can be an environmentist too. (:

it's quite amazing how my puny brain manages to draw links and thoughts from almost anything ._. thinker, dreamer. ROAR. hahah i dont know what to say already. >< ohhoho, i had a wu liao dream yesterday. i was taking UNSSW English test (T.T, i already told you it's wu liao) then someone messaged me and i received a card, "Merry Christmas!". dang. can you liao jie! >(

the stupidest thing? i sleep-talked. my dad told me to wake up, and in my half-conscious state, i replied, "I'm taking a test!" i think he was quite disturbed by my mad response ._.

you could dump me on an island and i think i would just entertain myself until i die of hunger or thirst or until someone rescues me (: haha! something like sheesh-whats-that-show-title! >< grah. stm T.T

perhaps, it's time for me to see a psycologist. :D

the greatest treasures lie unseen.

during the cross-country, i heard someone say, "every step more is every step less"

pretty much makes sense (: and it kindof drew a link to life too, that with every day's passing is a day closer to end of the world.

end of the world seems um, pretty sad and bad and blah blah to many.

"why does the sun go on shining?
why do the do birds sing their song?
dont they know, it's the end of the world..."

haha! butbut end of the world doesnt seem sad or bad at all when the image of being in heaven with God and all the angels singing. the streets of gold and silver, where there would be no more pain, no more sadness, no more hate. :D praising our Lord until the day of New Creation.

've always tried imagining it, but it seems so happy and mad to be real. heh, but one day it will come true, and i've many things to ask God when i see Him! tho the day of Judgement still terrifies me alot, (i picture God using some high-tech projector to project onto the clouds to show everyone else what sins i've done). shesh, and should He flip through the book of Life and say to me, "your name is not in here, you unfaithful servant." it's a nightmare. worse than my worst nightmare of being left all alone on this earth, cos i wouldnt be on earth, but in Hell[ouch] ): or painful-er than the nightmare of having my hand caught in the mrt train door and flying outside while the train's moving ._. cos the pain of burning is far worse than anything anyone can ever imagine. it's gonna hurt. alot.

perhaps all this is just like smoking. or maybe harder to imagine. we've been told so many a times what would happen if we continue to wallow on... but it's the short, temporary pleasures that we can see before our eyes that just smoulders what truly lies ahead. Jesus knocks on each and every of our hearts' doors, we open it, then slam it into His face. hahaha come on, who cares about all this wierd faith and beliefs when we only live once on this earth?

which is precisely wrong.

cos our lives are really not about living once and it's over; play as much as you can while you can and die without regrets. i guess there are many now who are somewhere looking down at earthlings and shouting to them through a glass to stop wallowing. cos the life after life is what matters. seriously. then again it doesnt mean that we can just fool around, cos life here isnt important. we are all placed on earth for a purpose, to prepare us for the life afterwards.

sheesh, all these thoughts have been bogging me ALOT. cos it means that many people whom i know, whom im really close to. my friends, relatives and everyone else might just vanish next time.

but it's true.

a life isnt a life without Him, no matter what lies right before your eyes now.
the greater treasures remain unseen.

what happens to babies who get aborted or die early before they can even comprehend anything? where do they go? or perhaps those people who never get a chance to hear the gospel in their entire lives?

i'll ask God that. (: or i shall try finding the answer myself first ^^

i shall be a missionary, or whosoever God wants me to be. use me, Lord. :D

"one day every toungue will confess you are God,
one day every knee will bow.
still the greatest treasure remains for those,
who gladly choose You now."

a heart to change!

roar, i need to start packing my table and cupboards. there are six teddy bears waiting to be reconciled with their owners. (HAHA SYLVIA.)
and i owe alot of people presents and letters :\

and sandy png, get well soon. EAT! (and kan yi sheng.)

sudden urge to go jogging/cycling, anyone? (:

random.

Juliet: "Oh Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo?"
Romeo replies: "You think I want meh?!"

baaaaaaaaaa can you see how mad/tired/crazy/hopeless i am now!

random note: instant mashed potato isnt nice ._. i have 19more packs to finish. *applauds*

sheng bing sheng bing! >< koahuimin owes me apple :D

random note: bananas(please note the pronounciation xD) are nice! i had two (:

ohpoof. i dont like feuds ):

here's an attempt to blog! MICHELLE AND SHIAOWEI ARE YOU HAPPY! *jumps about*

WO YAO SHUI JIAO ): JIU MING AH.

PIA!

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