Isaiah 40:29-31

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. 


They will soar on wings like eagles; 
they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

maybe it's time to rethink.

Quoting Adam Lambert (of all people to quote, really. but still...), Whataya want from me...?

And through it all i find myself asking, what do I want from myself...?

More importantly, what do You want from me?

Feeling... so freaking off-form.

One thousand. A hundred and fifty.

On a sidenote, MY GP PROMOS 96 PERCENTILE!!! IS THAT KOOL OR WHAT! 

And that's... the only (Y) of my entire promotional grades ._. All my other grades are... er...
Stilllllllllllllllllll. :D Yay hehehe.

All these insecurities are eating away little bits and pieces of my soul. And I don't know if they're unfounded or a reality.

Maybe it's time. 

i like cookie crisps cereal with milk. :D

Okay short post before I hit the sack... Really need to get some sleep before my battery runs dry.

/Edit: Hahaha my random title above is so cute :D

Anyway, past few days have been pretty packed. Promo papers returned, Ares Grad Day, PSL Camp etc etc. Timetable has been rather weird though, PW lessons are like free periods for the guys in class lah. Okay but my PW group's rather on-task and I'm so thankful for my group! Our WR's more or less done and sealed and submitted, I guess? In the stage of preparing for OP now. I'm so worried/nervous for OP! Public speaking in front of an audience is okay for me, but I dislike scrutiny and graded assessments!!! And I keep feeling like I'm going to screw up Q&A. Must. Remember. To. Stay. Calm. And. Think. Logically! I phail at debates - -" Always say stupid stuff hahahaha. I rem Sec 3 (or 4)'s interclass debate competition semi-finals was just epic lah. Huier and I... were... rather awesome. Hahahaha.

Promo results... I'm rather okay with my results. To begin with, I don't harbour high hopes for my own academic performance, so the amount of relief and sheer gratitude when I pass a subject is really just... yeah. I think everyone has different yardsticks, so we shouldn't be so quick to judge and impose our own way of thinking on other people's results. Say, I could be expecting to get a U for math. But I didnt. I got an S. ( :D ) And for someone else, it might be different. Each man for his own.

Checked ISP and I'M REALLY HAPPY WITH MY GEOG RESULTS!!! I didn't know I did so well! Human geog saved me and thank God physical geog didn't pull the overall down by too much... even though I got 5 / 25 for my essay. Zzz... But yay! Thank God.

Other subjects... well, failed Lit paper 1. As usual. Need to do better next year. Miss Teo offered to help me in Lit over the hols so I'm keeping my fingers crossed! I really want to know what I'm doing wrongly/not doing and be able to write like how a Lit student writes. (ie. 4 - 5 pages of flowing essays like my classmates!!) Okay hahahaha a bit ambitious. Aiyah.

But okay I will be a J2 next year :D Promotional criteria met. (Y) Though I don't really want to be a J2, really, but yupz.


Went back to NY for PSL camp. Ah Nanyang feels foreign but familiar and a lot of memories drifted back as we went around the different places... Different people, different activities etc. I could really almost feel and see myself as a NY girl again... doing the things that we were doing. Lessons, recesses, Guides, camps, PSL. A lot of things... Wow but I really like the swanky cool new stuff around the campus! The juniors don't think it's anything much, but I was really literally swooning over the mad, shiny, clean, white new canteen tables and benches.

As a senior, you'll always tend to be more critical towards your juniors. Esp if they're doing the things that you've done before. It's like a 'been there, done that' kinda mentality. EXCO'08 felt so... recent! And I'm really secretly quite proud of us 'cos we kinda revolutionalised PSL camp/PSL. I thought (and still think) our camp was the best hahahaha okay shut up Xiaoen. But yeah anyway everyone goes through the mill to learn and I thought it was just time to let them learn and do their stuff. Things didn't turn out too bad anyway. (: And it's a really cool feeling to see able juniors who can lead and hold their positions well (Y) And have juniors coming up to you, "Hi! Do you remember me? You were the PSL who led my family on the school tour during Open House/in charge of my class in Sec 1!" Wow teachers must get a lot of these... especially so for those who teach for a really long time. Love this feeling (Y). Reason number #256 to fulfill my ambition hahaha. (256 is a random number.)

Thought that some still lack the basic qualities though. I get rather annoyed with non-proactive people. Those who know what to do, but don't do it. Worse, those that don't even know that there's something to be done. But at the end there are some who learn and remember and move on to do bigger things. And some who just stay there for a really loooooooooooong time...

The conference room was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo colddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd. (Slept there at night.) Oh my goodness seriously. Brrrrrr.

Night trail was quite funny hahaha I think I was rather phail but okay I tried my best. Uniform top + FBTs... aren't very convincing as a ticket collector. Gave up trying to act and spoke to the groups in a normal, deep, low voice instead. All while keeping a straight face. I think being able to keep a straight face, no matter what the scenario, is a super important skill a leader should have hahaha (: Steph was sweating/ melting/ melting/ evaporating/ condensing/ water-cycle-repeats-itself in the beautiful trash bag (Joey what's your grade for Art?). But it was a nice, long, good 2 hours. I'm glad I swapped stations (though that might've come across as a bit annoying and wishy-washy hahahaha sorry Liyi) - Had a good long talk with Steph; about her niece, school, people, yadayada... Yay hahaha (:

And then at the end of the night trail, people STILL suspected me as the murderer. Like, wth?! No matter what role, somehow I'll always be suspected. T_T Zzz. Oh hahaha I think some groups might've thought I was a ticket collector with violent tendencies 'cos I shouted "SHUDDUPPPPPPPPPPP!" at those groups that were singing and shouting and screaming - -"

Hahahaha I love night trails. Though they freak the freak outta me too.

Grad day went quite well (: Chinese school song's really quite hard to sing though. ._. Was thinking how I'd feel next year graduating. I always tear up a leetle during montages. Feel so dumb. ._.

Okay I should go and sleep now it's 1:30 (:

Happy sabbath!

There's a wild, wild whisper goin' in the wind

Suddenly feel like listening to Lady Antebellum's American Honey! THE SONG SOUNDS EVEN BETTER ON HEADPHONES (Y). Hahahaha I remember how irritated my friends were when I kept playing it when they came over to study in the hols. - -"

Yay I like Lady Antebellum hehe. YAY IM ALMOST DONE WITH PW! :D

Okay the song just ended.
Replay. :D



Calling out my name like a long lost friend,
Oh I miss those days as the years go by...

relativity.

Pausing from PW WR formatting. PW is wrenching life out of everyone. T_T

So... training yesterday. Frankly, I was quite disappointed by the turn-up rate. A lot of this is harder than what my faith set out to be. But faith prevails, right till the end. That's why it's called Faith. Anyway. I think I should do the compiling of who's coming and who's not; used to do it before my Nokia E65 crashed. The current Sony E sucks. I can't mass SMS without 100001 failed sendings and the memory space is humongous. Like, I have to delete-SMSes-everyday-kinda-huge.

Zzz.

Cos right now the shock is secondary - only find out how small attendance is during training itself. We haven't really had many trainings with full attendance. And I think it's damn important 'cos a team needs to train together before we can even harbour the hopes and dreams we want to dare to dream. Next year. Hate being nasty/fierce. Never liked scolding people - not even juniors in the past. But sometimes when nobody does anything... then nobody does anything. Get it?

I honestly think we really ought to be training a lot harder than what we're doing right now. And I really feel so frustrated and pissed off with myself sometimes. Was rather off during training yesterday, and I think it showed, a little. Okay maybe more than a little, since Pam who's usually in her own happy bubble with candy floss and chilli crab could tell.

Okay pause I'm going back to do PW. Bye. Might be back to edit this.

turn your eyes

Doing I&R now come on Xiaoen better productivity!!!

Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

On a sidenote, thank God for an above-expectation results for H. Geog today. Still need to work doubly triply hard, as the other subjects slowly reveal themselves...

Oh, and I got a grand total of... ONE demerit point for the whole year of 2010! Yay!!! Okay it would've been nice if it was a zero, but the traffic jam on the day I was late was really monstrous. So yay :D Hahaha for juniors who are like !!! DEMERIT POINT!?!?... it's quite normal to get demerit points here. I'm not like rebellious or anything. <:) Late-coming = 1 point (:

Okay back to I&R...
Really need to increase productivity... T_T




and the things on earth will grow strangely dim,
in the light of His glory and grace.

Photos from Universal (: (finally.)

Okaaaaaaaaaaay this was in my dashboard for so long - -" Hehehehe photos from Universal with Hazel and Zongxian :D It was awesomeeeeeeee :D 

Whoo! It was really really really really fun! :D :D :D And there were roller coasters - -" And dinosaurs! And Shrek, Donkey, Pirates, Mummies... It was awesome man. Yay really thankful for the free ticket there! Hehehehe all YOG volunteers were given free tickets to Universal <:)

Monorail (is that what it's called?) to Sentosa!

The last time I went Sentosa must be a really long time ago...

I thought we had to enter by cable car (and was feeling really excited about it you know.)

Ah beng.

Dr. Teng :D

It was mad crowded at Universal, but the order and crowd control was really impressive. Queues proceeded smoothly and we often waited less than the estimated time. Brilliant. (: It was seriously pretty darn cool. Like a fantasy land, right from the minute you step into the place!

:D

Really makes Singapore/Sentosa quite an amazing place. (Y)

Who cares about casinos - -"

Us with the iconic Universal signage!

And... a random person beside us posing.

Hahahaha <:)

You know the thing turns... and you have to stand there and wait for a strategic timing so that the word "Universal" can be seen :D

I was seriously rather worried about the roller coasters, 'cos I am seriously phobic of heights and Hazel seriously loves heights. - -" But things worked out rather well in the end, haha! And hey, I'm not afraid of roller coasters anymore! :D I think they're rather fun! :D (Thank God the Battlestar Galactica thing wasn't open though, I think that's a bit beyond me. Next time, perhaps <:) )

The Battlestar thingy! That rollercoaster is MASSIVE.

Huge. Giganticnormous.

But it's been closed for a really long time now ._. Doctor was rather disappointed.

Photo retouched with iPhoto, adjusted for brightness and contrast. Looks pretty cool right <:)

Our first ride for the night was the Revenge of the Mummy one - -" I tell you, I wanted to die before the ride. First time taking roller coaster and I had to do the mummy - -" It was such a long walk in, and I was freaking scared a mummy will just jump out from the coffin and attack me ): There were so many coffins and the lights kept dimming and brightening, dimming and brightening... D: Closed my eyes throughout the entire ride. - -" And I seriously didn't know when it was going up or when it was going down. They felt the same T_T It went backwards, forwards, accelerated, descended, ascended. I don't know man. Was too scared to even scream - -" Just... clung onto Hazel and closed my eyes and gave a muffled scream because I was going to die from fright - -" But before anyone knew it, it was over! :D Hahahahaha wasn't that bad lah, just that the scary voice stuck in my head for a while - -"

This was taken before the ride!

We went for some other rides, like the Canopy Flyer and Enchanted Airways (I think that's what it's called) The Enchanted ride was epic. Hahaha! It's a mini roller coaster in Universal; and on the description it said, "30-second ride designed for kids" (: The 30 seconds was maaaaaaaaaadness I tell ya! Super duper fast! Superrrrrrrrrrrrrr thrilling! When the ride ended, someone shouted from the back, "Eh! Who say this one for kids!" Hahahahaha! Everyone laughed lah! Epic. We went on this ride twice, 'cos it was really really fun! I didn't hold Hazel's hand the second time we went up! (: Yay me :D

OHHHHHHHHHHHH anddddddddddddddd you know, on every single ride we went, we were in the front row. (Y) Seriously. Front of the roller coaster. The Mummy, the Enchanted... - -" Cool or what. 

Canopy Flyer! <:)

Crowds/Queue waiting to get onto the Canopy.

The queues moved quickly and smoothly; staff were really efficient and friendly! (:

CAN YOU SEE THE CUTE NO SMOKING SIGN?

HEHEHE GOT DINOSAUR ONE! With a cigarette in its mouth - -"

So funny hahaha!

(People, don't smoke. Seriously. 

I don't get why people smoke - -" Let's all stay smoke-free when we grow up (: )

I called this thing a 'bird' the whole time, till Hazel kinda pointed that it was a dinosaur...

Bird.

Need to learn how to look ever-demure like Doctor...

This park-ranger guy was walking around and the dino under his arm moved and made noises!!!
I was really rather fascinated.
Until Zongxian pointed out that his real hand was inside and the arm around was fake.

Bubble burst and stupidity sank in. Hahahaha.

:D !

WATERWORLD PERFORMANCE !!! 

The audience seats are categorised into different sections - Soak Zone, Splash Zone etc.

THIS WAS WHEN I DISCOVERED THIS PANORAMA FUNCTION ON ZIAI'S CAMERA.
Superrrrrrrrrr cool 8)

Set at WaterWorld.

This plane FLEW in during the performance. Madness.

With the performers :D

My favourite place in Universal!!! :D

Yay :D :D :D

(Okay I know I sound retarded but I don't care hahahaha.)

Er some random people working there we just approached them to ask if we could take a photo together hahaha (:

Damn future-looking shades. 

Princess-y party hats, complete with fluff and feathers.

We like. Hahahaha.

DONKEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Every time I see Donkey Eddie Murphy's voice rings in my head. (Y)

This picture... holds an inside joke HAHAHAHA.

Will be revealed soon.

MORE DONKEY :D (I typed "DINKY" -___-)

Sooooooo gay hahaha!

This photo actually really reminds me of Huili...?

This photo makes me laugh idk why. Donkey is really... (Y).

Er, random people working in the shop... operating the mini ferris wheel :D

Mini ferris wheel.

For kids.

WHICH WE OBVIOUSLY WENT ON :D

Zongxian got forced up the ride with Hazel and I hahahaha.

Too bad.

Random Shrek beside the mini ferris.

DONKEY'S WIFE!!!

Is her name Dragon or smth?

Looks so mama-san.

Puss in boots.

The eyeballs....

(Y)

With the other SSOs who volunteered with us at the cycling events! :D

Fake one. Got no maps.

Can you imagine the amount of money put into building all these things?!? 

Castles and what not. It was a really amazing, surreal experience. 

Another land altogether.

We went to watch the Shrek 4-D show!!!

It was incredible fun :D :D :D

ENCHANTED AIRWAYS MINI ROLLER :D

"For kids."

(Y)

Donkey-dragon baby!!! I think these little munchkins are really cute.

The Shrek babies freak me out, btw.

Shrek and Fiona! :D

Far, far away...

Yellow Taxi (: Hollywood area (:

Many random vintage cars parked in Hollywood!

Okay finally this post is gonna leave my dashboard. - -" Anyway this YOG experience has been really pretty cool. Thankful for the chance to have volunteered! It's really quite daring for Singapore to take the leap to host the inaugural game. There were some hiccups along the way though, and as SSOs we had to absorb some of the "WHERE IS YOUR MANAGER?! I WANT TO SEE HIM NOW!" "There are obviously loopholes in the planning! Such poor organisation!!!" But you learn to take all these in stride and continue to smile and greet everyone with the same enthusiasm as when you started the day, though your feet may be breaking and you're sweating like the Singapore monsoon season. And it was really great fun seeing the athletes, hearing other people swoon about "the cute blonde cyclist... did you see him!!" And wow the perks are really pretty awesome (: Especially this trip to Universal, of which I would not really go on my own cos tics are so expensive! O: I think YOG was rather successful on the whole actually, personally. Sure there were huuuuuuuuuge protests and complains online (and boy seriously), but everyone had some form of takeaway. And hey, all in the name of good sporting and friendship.

Okay over and out.

Have a good week (: